Rain of Despair

Just that time, I've already decided not to get into a relationship again. I stopped myself, controlled myself, to just be friends with everyone around me. Nothing more, nothing less. At times, I've also lost trust in things. But, it happened again afterall..

First thing i get when parents came home todae, was a wonderful scolding, followed by continuous naggings. I thought it was alright, since u were there for me the entire time. I was feelings frustrated. but because u were there, everything became fine. After that, i was happily listening to you sing and watch drama. Your laughter is just so nice ^_^. Promised to treat you as a friend, i guess i'm going back on my words. infatuation or love? i've got no idea. I'll just continue to try my best. Either to get you, or just continue treating u as the diamond i've always treated.

After that, you left house to meet your friend.  I will never let you read this, for this blog will only be visited by me. Ill continue to be by your side no matter what happens. 11.11, i wished for you...and your happiness.

§AreS§
I'll do anything i can as long as it brings your happiness, even if all i can do is watch over you. ^_^ I'll cherish you for a lifetime. As a friend, or more.

An depressing past has passed, a new beginning once again. A new beginning meant new problems, new worries..but in life, it can never be a new life. =/ This is so not what i wanted, which is,a new love..
At first, i really tot we can remain as just friends, as good friends. One which i can be there for her always, 24/7 n still remain as friends like usual. But as time pass, as we get closer together, everything changed. Now, i think I've really fallen for her. What a big mistake.. if this were to be known by her, everything would be lost. A girl like her, with so many suitors, so many guys around her. I can never get near her totally. For in her mind, I'll always remain just as a friend.
Happy that we are close friends, but unhappy we cant be closer. Glad that we r at least close friends, afraid that she will find out the truth. What a weird person i am. Pretending that nothing is wrong is all i can do. Keeping things as it is, is all i can carry on doing. Every night, thinking over the same things, again and again. Yet, helpless, as thats all i can do. Nth more..
Really wish that i can just change everything. Wish that i can just say what i feel without spoiling anything. Wish that you will just stay beside me always.. n dun ever leave. All impossible wishes, experiences proved it all. For, forever does not exist. Thus, all i can continue wishing for is your present n as much as i can, ur future. I want all of it to have me included in it. yet another impossible dream.

Had been so long since i blogged, and yet, first post after approx 10 months, consists of rantings and unhappiness. Do hope things will turn out for the better. This is just a place where i convey my truth feelings. A place where i can just type anything i wan, anything i wish to type. May all of you have a good day. Will be blogging again soon ^.^
P.S change of signature.

§AreS§
Cherish what you have, do not start regretting after you have lost it.